The Default isn't "Happy:" a little conscious effort goes a long way.

Although there will always be some debate on the subject (and contradicting research), its my opinion that the default human mood state is not happy. Depressing huh? It makes sense though when you understand the physiology of stress. We are wired for survival. The caveman captivated by the rainbow could soon become a meal for a saber-tooth tiger. Perhaps he should avoid eating the berries that killed his uncle last week as well. We are tuned into both little and big dangers. It's part of our natural make-up, and the energy it takes to do so can be a drain. Add to this a constant barrage of stimulation, negative news, interpersonal stressors, numerous other life stressors, and you can understand why I say that happiness is not the default.

What if we approached life as though the best we can expect if we do nothing is neutral (zero, nada, niltch)? Depressing huh? Not necessarily. For me, this way of thinking was a huge cognitive shift at a time I had experienced a considerable loss. I was in a moderate state of depression and worried about what would happen if it got worse. I realized if neutral is the norm, then I had to figure out how to add positives. Everything is a balance right? I was on a mission to determine the ingredients for a positive mood state and here's what I learned. Happiness takes effort and it is easier when I'm proactive.

In my private practice, I evaluate police officers and firefighters for pre-employment screening. During the interview I ask, "How do you cope with stress?" Less than one out of ten applicants can list their stress coping skills. Yet we don't hesitate to provide a whole barrage of symptoms and complaints about how stress negatively impacts us. In effect, if we do nothing, we are victims of stress. Just sayin!

So what makes you happy?

Figure it out and make it happen.

If you don't, who will?

Here are some ideas to be proactive about your happiness.

1. Happiness takes sleep. Most generalist counselors are really good at helping people sleep. Sleep is the foundation of mental and physical stability. If you have insomnia get help. If you drone on with your phone, turn the settings to amber light: blue light is a sleep killer.

2. Happiness is your responsibility. Please don't wait for someone else to do it for you. It may be scary to try something new by yourself, but remember the default.

3. Schedule something that makes you happy in advance or regularly and don't take no for an answer. BUT don't overcommit. 10 minutes a day of exercise is better than none, for example.

4. Stretch a little every hour you're awake or every time you stand up (within reason) or every time you wash your hands, etc. Use a regular behavior to prompt a behavior that shifts your mood to the positive.

5. When you're with a friend, schedule you're next outing BEFORE you part ways. Put it on the schedule.. Don't just talk about it, PUT IT ON THE SCHEDULE! Seriously!

6. Don't cancel things out of apathy or laziness or fatigue or fear (within reason of course). Get your ass up and stick to your agreement with yourself. If you hate it once you get there, you can always leave.

7. Start planning your next adventure or vacation. Research by the Institute for Applied Positive Research found that 97% of respondents report that having a trip planned makes them happier.

8. Limit the amount of news you watch. If this makes you feel defensive, do the research. Negative news makes us feel crappy for hours and hours.

9. If you feel overwhelmed make a "to do" list and add a couple positive things for yourself. But don't overcommit. Sometimes a to do list is all that's needed to settle a restless mind for sleep.

10. Have a sense of humor and grace, especially about yourself. I dare you to pick one thing on this list and do it!